“I can’t do it. I can’t finish this for you and this is going to have to be my last day. I am really sorry.” 

These are not the words you want to hear from your contractor when you’re standing in the middle of a gutted kitchen. When we moved into our house, we found a friendly contractor who was eager for work and talked a big game. We believed every bit of it. Then two weeks into a supposed two-week job, we had no semblance of a kitchen, and now had no idea when we would have one again.

We were in a tough spot. We were still getting established in our neighborhood and at Providence. No one would blame us if we backed out of hosting community group with our house such a mess. But we had a choice: we could let our own discomfort and preferences take precedence, or we could keep our home open to new friends and trust the Lord would make it all work. 

By God’s providence, we met a wonderful contractor who got us back on track, but we were still without a kitchen for almost six months. Some people can get squeamish about hosting a community group at their house, because they’re running behind and have dirty dishes in the sink. For us, it looked like hosting our new community group with plastic surrounding our living room, while dusting construction debris off the chairs.

I will not pretend—it was not easy for me to keep hosting. I am not a highly organized person, but I love a certain level of cleanliness, ambiance, and style in my home. So washing dishes in the guest bathtub, cooking in a toaster oven on the dining room table, and going to the garage every time I wanted something from the fridgeled to my fair share of meltdowns! I daily had to work on my pride in wanting to appear unaffected by the chaos of our home. and learn to be authentic.

In an affluent area like Frisco, Texas, it’s easy to play the comparison game. Whether we are aware or not, we are reminded of what we don’t have, what we could have, what we would only dream of having, and what everyone thinks of me for not having it! Are my kids doing the right sports? Do we have a nice enough car? Is our house big enough, clean enough, styled enough? The list goes on and on as we subconsciously compare ourselves to others, never thinking we are actually enough. 

In the book, Neighborhoods Reimagined, Chris and Elizabeth Mckinney write,

“Our counterfeit god of individualism perpetuates a scarcity mindset in neighboring; we find ourselves de-emphasizing good works and hoarding our time and resources. We’re afraid to love and serve our neighbors because we focus on what we lack or might lose.” 

We worship our own idol: me, myself and I. We think we aren’t enough and that we couldn’t possibly open our homes and lives to others, so that we can live the way the church was designed to live—together! Rich or poor, thirsty or satiated, weak or strong, we are to be united under the promise that Jesus has provided all we need to love and serve others. 

The authors of Neighborhoods Reimagined remind us of what enables us to live this way: 

“If we want to become neighbors who are poor in spirit, we start with this kind of dependence on God’s Spirit that we never outgrow, also known as prayer. We learn from Jesus and start talking to God more often. We ask him to change us from being emotionally detached and instead open our hearts to scary things like humility and sacrifice…We don’t rely on ourselves as good entertainers or conversationalists; we recognize our God as the better, most welcoming Host.”

We are not to think we can do it on our own, but with Christ and in him. That’s what gives us the confidence to answer that late-night text from a friend asking to talk. To invite people we aren’t comfortable with over to our messy house for a simple meal. To show up to a friend’s kid’s soccer games because they would love the support. To visit a friend in the hospital on your way home from the gym, sweaty clothes and all.

So what does this look like for you? What small change can you make to open up your home and your life to those around you who are also seeking authentic connection and vulnerability? Most likely, many of the people you’ve met at Providence are transplants. They may not have family or old friends close by. They are desperate for people to show up for them, to love them unconditionally, and help them bear their burdens. Don’t you want that, too? Don’t we all? But who should take the first step? Us.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous, do not fear or tremble, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9). No, you may not be going to battle for the Lord like Joshua. But inviting that family you just met over for dinner (even though there are still Legos all over the floor and the trash needs to be taken out)—that can feel really scary. But with the Lord by our side, we can be a better neighbor, a better friend, and a better example of Christ’s love and the sacrifice he made for us. In dependence on him, we just have to open our doors and say, “Come on in, friend.”